This is the time of year when families and friends all over the nation gather together to celebrate being
thankful. As a member of the Cherokee Nation, Thanksgiving Holiday was not one that Michael really
loved, but he always used it as a time to reflect on his life and the many things for which he was
grateful.

One of my fondest memories of Michael happened on Thanksgiving. Michael and I had started dating in
the spring, but I broke it off with him because, honestly, he scared me. He made it very clear that he was
very serious about me, and as a recent divorcee that scared me a lot. As luck would have it, we
reconnected in the early fall when Michael asked if he could attend a play that I was performing in. After
the play, we went for coffee and talked. During our chat I asked Michael about his Thanksgiving plans.
He smiled and gently explained why that was not his favorite holiday, but that he and his family would
be attending church services that day and enjoying a meal together afterward in the fellowship hall. This
began a long discussion about his church. I mentioned that it sounded like a great community, and I’d
love to visit sometime. He asked me why not Thanksgiving? I started to say no, but then remembered
that my family was doing Thanksgiving on Friday and that my kids would be with their father on the
holiday, so I would be alone. Without much more thought, I said yes, and it was a date!

That was the start of our real love story. I loved the church, his family, and his friends. I felt like I
belonged there and with Michael. From that day forward, we were never apart more than three days,
even though he lived in Corbin and me in Berea. I joined the church, and we were married the following
spring.

It’s so ironic to me that our story began and begins to end at the holiday where many Americans
celebrate their gratitude for all the blessings in their lives.

Last year, my son hosted our family Thanksgiving dinner at his new home. It was the last time that all of
us would be together outside of a hospital. We had such a good time. My son is a great cook, and we
stayed for hours talking and sharing stories. Michael, I think, knew even then that his time was short. He
took time to be patient and loving with the kids and grandchildren. It was such a good night.

The following Tuesday, he died on the operating table. They brought him back, but it was at this time he
made the decision to go into hospice care. While the following days were sad, exhausting, and
traumatic, I am thankful for each and every moment. It was a blessing to be able to spend those last
days with Michael and though the memories are hard, I’m so glad I have them.

However, I am also mourning the loss. It will be hard to sit down at the table without Michael, but I
know in my heart he will be with us. The next few weeks will be full of constant reminders of his last
days, and the emotions, at times, seem more than I can handle.
As you gather with your friends and family this year, I ask that you take stock of all the blessings in your
life, but also recognize that many are not able to do so for a variety of reasons. I’m sure that at every
gathering there will be at least one person who is struggling with grief, depression, anxiety or other
issues. Like me, they may put on a smile to try and get through the day, but it is exhausting.

So, please be kind, be patient and give everyone a little extra grace this time of year. Celebrations can be
so hard for those in grief or pain. Hug those you love and tell them what they mean to you. Have the
conversations you always wanted to have, because you never know when it might be your last. If you
are suffering, please talk to someone. If you are not comfortable with talking with friends or family, then
reach out to a primary care physician, therapist, or helpline at 988. There is help, and others do care.
You are not alone.

I’m so thankful for the memories I have, for my family, for my friends, for my job, for my coworkers, and
for my sweet little fur babies. However, this year I have something to be even more thankful for and
that is YOU. Thank you for reading, for sharing, for your messages and comments. You are now a part of
my circle, and your support sustains me. Thank you.

Today and every day, be thankful, be kind, and know that you are so appreciated.